youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
