Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
you had me at cake vodka
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
