i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
