Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i dont even know how to be here
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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