That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
