Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
