Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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