these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
