i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
