is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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