He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
