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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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