just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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