I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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