I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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