Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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