Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
my liver is dry heaving
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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