So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize