I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
