Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
it's like iHOP with fire
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
