we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I made him laugh his dick is mine
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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