So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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