Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We don't watch enough power rangers
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
