um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
