I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
