Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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