everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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