remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize