I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
