i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
