I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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