Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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