Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
There are leaves in my underwear?
I did not marry a roomba.
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