the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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