I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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