I would go down on you faster than GM stock
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
