My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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