u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Randomize
