Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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