Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
