Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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