We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
