oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Randomize
