i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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