We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
