Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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