I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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