Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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