dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
