I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
