so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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