I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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