Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
