i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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