she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
