He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you win again, gameday.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
