I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
