she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
