what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
