whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize