so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You need a sexual gate keeper
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Randomize
